People much more qualified than me have authored countless blogs, podcasts, and videos that describe everything we can try to avoid anxiety and panic attacks. There is also an overload of information about what you can do if the moment arises and you find yourself in the midst of a panic attack.
What I want to offer today is what has worked for me. Maybe it will work for you and save you the time of sifting through the plethora of research documents.
My first panic attack was starting from zero. I had no idea what was happening or what to do, other than to ponder whether this was how my life was ending, then quickly making peace, and accepting this might be how it all ends. I didn’t know what else to do.
Over time I learned many techniques I put into practice when more moments came, and they helped me tremendously.
The first was simple. Understanding enough about panic attacks to realize they are a biological process, a rush of chemicals in your body that causes specific physical changes such as breathing to heart rate, to head rush, to numbness, inability to swallow, overwhelm, and impending doom. I found the more I could repeat to myself that it is this, the sum of these symptoms as a result of a biological process, and not the end of the world, the more I could disarm the situation and just sit (albeit very uncomfortably) with the panic attack and make my way through.
I’m an analytical guy. And after reading a wonderful book, “90 Seconds to a Life You Love” by Dr. Joan Rosenberg, I decided to remove as much power as I could from the panic and define what it is. I spent about 90 minutes one Sunday morning in March writing out my own definition of a panic attack to remove all uncertainty, power, and dominion it possessed over me. My definition reads:
“A panic attack is not panic. It is the momentary manifestation of biological processes (cortisol response, among others) and chemical dumping, spontaneously and often randomly triggered, that are the result of the accumulation of unprocessed, uncomfortable feelings of helplessness and vulnerability in the areas of my life in which I need to work through and move through.”
Yep, that’s a long definition. But decomposing to the most basic element allowed me to understand what a panic attack is and remove the specter of uncertainty. I kept reading that definition every day to educate my subconscious so that in the moment, it would revert to a definition instead of telling the rest of my body that this was the end.
The second was also simple. And a game changer. It’s called Havening…check it out at www.havening.org or https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/the-simplest-anxiety-soothing-technique-youve-never-heard-of.
The gist is this: havening is a way of swaddling yourself in a panicky moment that stimulates the brain to return to a lower anxious state and remain calm. You stroke your arms, your face, your hands, your legs. And just by doing so, you stimulate the creation of serotonin and other feel good chemicals in your body that puts your brain in a delta wave state.
What is a delta wave state? I’m glad you asked.
Delta waves are long brain waves that are usually generated during sleep. Think of slow ocean swells rolling in at the beach, calmly, repeatedly. They are the opposite of anxious thoughts (those are left for gamma waves and you don’t want gamma waves). Delta waves tell the body everything is OK and there’s no reason to panic.
How does it work? It’s almost too simple to believe.
When I have felt panic attacks coming or have just been in an uncomfortable situation (think bad turbulence on a flight), I start rubbing my palms together like I’m sanding them…then I gently stroke my forehead…then I stroke my upper arms like I’m giving myself a hug. While I’m doing this, I repeat to myself “Safe and calm…safe and calm…safe and calm…safe and calm…safe and calm…safe and calm.” I try to have a gentle smile on my face while I’m doing it.
And by some wizardry…it works. It’s almost too simple to work. It shouldn’t work. But it does. You can stimulate the creation of feel good chemicals, lull yourself into a relaxed state, remain focused on your situation, all without drugs or other chemicals. No side effects, no risk, nothing.
To recap, here’s what I do when the moment comes:
- Sit down right where you are. If possible, touching the Earth with your bare feet or hands. Let that contact fill you with the negative ions the Earth emits naturally which have calming effects on your body.
- Start havening. Start repeating “safe and calm, safe and calm, safe and calm”
- Sit there with the discomfort. This is the hardest part. You are desperately looking for an escape because of something the mind and body are doing, and you cannot let them win. Don’t divert, don’t distract, don’t sidestep, don’t avoid. Just sit there. I know it sucks. But you must treat the panic like a bully. Give the panic (bully) any satisfaction and he’ll be back for more than your lunch money tomorrow.
- Focus on your breath. I like to focus on the end of my nose, the feeling of the air entering and leaving my nostrils. I box breathe to develop the rhythm that tells your subconscious that there is no way we can be in a threatening situation if I can breathe calmly and controlled.
- Keep sitting there. Keep being uncomfortable. If you pass out, you pass out. Remember, the body can make you pass out as a defense mechanism when what you are facing is just too much to bear. When it is overwhelmed, it hits the abort switch to protect itself. Just keep sitting there.
- Keep havening, even after the discomfort subsides. Tell yourself you just endured an incredibly tough situation and you made it through. You are safe and calm, and because you just made it through, you can be less fearful of the next moment should it arise.
- Don’t get up until you’re ready. I can recall being on my front porch in meditation posture for an hour after a panic attack. I just wasn’t ready to get back to the day. Let yourself gently come back to the day. And give yourself the grace and time it needs.
I was always concerned of what to do in the moment. Yes, I can try and stave off anxiety by doing all the right things but if it were to come, how could I react and what could I do…and not remain powerless. Havening and deconstructing what a panic attack is (then reciting to myself in the moment) has helped tremendously.
All this helps to regain control of your breath and let’s face it…with no control over your breath, you have no control over anything. Your breath is your life. In the moment you can find that control over the breath. Some of that control comes from the work you can do ahead of time…and some of the control you can still try and find in the moment.
houckOUT 